A Crazy Family

 I wish I could forget about my daughters. That would make my life more simple. But I keep seeing them in my dreams. I had a dream that me and my mom were planning to bring them home. 

I have essentially been banned from seeing them for the past 3 years. I guess because my ex's parents blame me for him going crazy. Or they are afraid of him. They think if they let me have the girls for even a few hours, he might get physically violent with them. That is one reason I divorced him. I grew to be very afraid of him. I even was scared he might kill me. 

About a year ago my mom was blocked by my ex mother in law. For no reason, she stopped texting her. No more updates about Joy and Serenity. God told me it is because Melanie could not get any money out of my mom. Well miss greedy bitch, my mom doesn't have as much extra money as you guys do. So get over it. And stop being so cold. Text her. She deserves to know if her granddaughters are doing ok. Unless you are hiding something? 😒

 6 months ago my ex Ben blocked me on his phone. I think it was because on Father's Day I told him he reminded me of my dad and that he needed to be nothing like my dad. It is a good thing that he went silent probably. I need to only have a heart for my new man now. There is no reason to keep texting exes if you found a better person. You have to just forget about any and all exes. All they will do is mess up your future. He messed up enough of my life already.  

I have not pushed legally for visitation with my girls because I have no desire to get back with my ex. I don't want to even be tempted to. I don't want to relive seeing him go insane. That was the hardest and scariest year of my life! Now his parents get to deal with that. In my opinion it is all their fault that he went crazy. They did not adequately supervise him his entire childhood. All he did was watch hours of porn in his room. They barely fed him. They got him addicted to Ritalin from age 6 to 18. Now they have him on psychiatric drugs to make him half dead. They never took him to church. They were horrible parents. And they almost never cleaned their house and had a serious mice problem. 

I can only hope and pray they are taking better care of my girls. I am trusting that my ex is ensuring that they are fed well and taken to church. I know he was a good dad, and I know he can raise them well. 

Please all pray for his insane mind though. May God help him recover from whatever caused his very odd insanity. May it not affect my daughters at all. Hopefully someday I will get to be a mother to them again.