My Testimony

 I was born November 30th, 1984. I have an older brother who is 4 years older. He was a bit of a wild child. I suppose I have been too at various times. How was I wild? Well.... I used to enjoy getting drunk. I smoked cigarettes from age 11 to 14 and 34 to 37. I have tried pot but, praise God I never liked it too much. I shoplifted cigarettes when I was younger since I couldn't buy them. That was actually really exciting when I got caught twice. It was kind of like going on a roller coaster. 😃 That thrill that I loved of getting in trouble sent me into hardcore ministry. I love the quote, "The most reprobate sinners can become the most devout saints." 

I got saved at age 14 and went to India with my church. My youth pastor asked me to pick where we would go. I said, "We should go to India because they burn Christians there and everyone else will be too scared to go!" We went for a week to Calcutta and Guwahati and we had lots of fun. I did Christian magic tricks in church services that we put on. My next missions goal is to go to the Middle East, because most people are too scared to go. Who else wants to go? :) In the past 10 years I have been making what I call Jesus packets. They are goody bags with candy, a Bible tract and a bracelet I make. I think my goal since I was little was to help the lost find God because my dad was very, Very lost. He was a child molester. He molested me and probably many others. He went to prison recently for molesting his step grand kids.

 I now realize I should have seen that as God warning me. A few years ago my step dad molested his step grandkid, my oldest daughter. If I didn't care about honoring my parents I would love to beat him up for that. I did not press charges because he is supporting my mom and I need him to do that. Him messing with my girl Serenity was the biggest betrayal of my trust in my life. He Seemed like a great Christian guy. He went to church every Sunday his entire life. He was smart and kind. But I guess he has an affinity for messing with kids sexually. I don't understand him at all, but I plan to never see or talk to him again.  

There seems to be a generational curse of sexual abuse in my family. My grandma was raped by her dad. My mom was raped by her cousin. I was almost raped by my dad but God rescued me. My daughter could have been raped eventually but God alerted me that something was off. The molest of my daughter was the central issue that caused my divorce 3 years ago and me loosing my daughters. My ex and his parents treated me, and still do treat me, as if I was the one that molested her. It is very frustrating. Someday I can only hope my step dad will buy me a huge beach house to make up for everything he did. 

Another big part of my life story is how annoying it was for me that my ex was involved in what I call Charismania. I always felt like they brain washed him. It is a cult and they program their followers with what seems like scripted answers to various questions. One example is if you question the practice of being slain in the spirit, they all will say, "Well the soldiers who came to arrest Jesus fell backwards." To which a normal response would be, "But they weren't saved. They were the bad guys." And then they get mad at you for questioning them. 

My ex's loyalty was to them more then me. He valued them more then me because they were "anointed" and I was not, according to him. I think I started my Jesus packets to prove to him that I could be just as on fire as the Charismatics. I don't think it worked. To him I was nothing compared to them. So that caused a lot of tension and sadness through our 7 years of marriage. 

A few months before we broke up I finally received the gift of tongues. I was so excited. He said I wasn't doing it right. That was kind of an ongoing theme in our marriage, that nothing was ever good enough for him. Then he went crazy for no reason. It was like part of his brain got cut off or he got a spirit of insanity. I have no idea what caused it or why he became so insane. He thought his phone was being hacked and that people were following him in cars. I was super confused and distraught over the whole thing. His mom medicated him to possibly fix it, but I think to this day he is still crazy. 

After separating from him I had a few boyfriends. None of them worked out because they were all just as crazy as my ex. 

My story has a happy ending though. Praise God I found a new great and handsome man online. I am 3 months pregnant with our first kid and maybe 8 more kids will come. God willing I can finally have a perfect family this time and hopefully Satan will not rob me of that again. I believe this 3rd try at a good family will be successful. "All things are possible to those who believe." Pray for us. Thanks for reading. God bless. :)