My Dad

For years my dad had a sexual addiction. He grew up looking at porn, as most guys do, which is very sad about our modern society. That is mainly why he molested me as a child. I am sure it was also demons that he let dominate his thought life. He gave me a book he read called, "Victory Over the Darkness." It had all his notes in it. At least he was trying, for a long time, to overcome his issues. 

He was raised Catholic. I think that was one cause of him having a messed up faith in God. I have heard a few times that Catholic people think they can do whatever they want to and then confess it the next day, and they think they are fine with God. It isn't meant to be that easy to get away with sin. 

When I was 3, he cheated on my mom with a prostitute. My mom absolutely should have left him after that. I have thought several times, she would have been very wise to do so. My grandma, her mom, had tons of extra houses we all could have lived in. She should not have been such a doormat with my dad. Cheating means a relationship is over. It doesn't mean you just ignore it and pretend it didn't happen. She may have thought, what other man would be willing to help her raise my brother and I? Why did she need another man though? She probably should have just been a mom for a while, but I didn't make that decision for myself, so I understand her not wanting to do that. I felt God telling me to keep my youngest girl after my divorce, but I wanted to find true love, after being in a cold marriage for 7 years. Did I find true love? Yes, a few times actually. But I still wish I would have kept my daughter and just been a mom for a season. I think that would have been better. 

So my dad had lots of problems. He never did fully overcome his sexual addiction. I went to visit him when I was 18. Later I realized my mom had me do that, because she was thinking of re-marrying him. I don't know why she kept wanting to stick with him. They did have 15 years of an ok marriage, but you have to let people go sometimes. So I visited him. His computer had dozens of women in swimsuits as his screen saver. That made me feel uncomfortable clearly, so I asked him to change it, and he did. I didn't see much improvement with him. He seemed very crazy to me still.  

Years later he molested more kids. They were his step-grandkids. I was a bit shocked to hear about it. I thought surely he was better by then, but some people never change. His entire life he has led Bible studies at church. I'm sure he was trying to rehabilitate himself. His last 10 years he was leading Bible studies while in prison. I can only hope that helped him overcome his sexual addiction. Hopefully he finally found God.