I keep thinking about Jeffery Dahmer and his life story. I guess the most chilling thing is how normal he seems in his interviews. It makes me think how really any person alive is capable of such things. Well I'm 99% sure I would never do such things because I have been saved, sanctified and sealed with the Holy Spirit. And where God is, evil cannot dwell. Praise God. But for anyone who isn't saved, such things are possible, because really any non Christian can become full blown possessed at any time. If they open doors to Satan, through drinking heavily or drugs or horror movies, any non- Christian could become possessed. I firmly don't believe Christians could ever be possessed.
Dahmer's childhood actually wasn't that crazy. There isn't any actual record of him being sexually abused. His dad says that he never was. He wasn't beaten by his parents at all. There isn't any mention of him being bullied at school. The only factor going against him was that his mom had a very bad temper, which I can relate too. My mom as well had a very bad temper. It was actually quite, quite scary at times. Like I was pretty afraid of her on several occasions from the time I was 10 up through till recently actually. Her anger is quite scary.
The other thing that resonates with me about him is how much he reminds me of various family members I have had that really could have had anti-social personality disorder. In high school, my brother had all the signs and symptoms of it. He could have actually ended up doing some of the same things. Praise God he didn't. But he had candles with skulls on them and burned incense like Dahmer intended to. He would listen to Marilyn Manson in his room for hours. He drew pictures on the board in his Sunday school class after church of various ways to kill himself. Needless to say, that's all why I have been scared to have a son. But granted he had the dad that we did. I think since he was a boy that fact affected him a lot more. Maybe part of him felt destined to follow in my dad's footsteps, who knows. Or just the fact that my dad was so messed up predisposed Nate to end up more messed up. My mom had a temper, but for the most part she was a godly kind woman with her act together. So I had a good role model to follow, for the most part.
But the main reason Dahmer turned out like he did is it sounds like he was neglected a lot as a child. It seems that his mom probably had Narcissistic personality disorder and so only cared about herself and no one else. I would say my mom has the same aspects to what she was like as a mom, in her interpersonal skills, which is probably partly why my brother turned out the way he did.
I don't know how I turned out relatively normal. Then again, I was headed on a bad path with traits of anti-social personality disorder as well when I was in Jr. High. I shoplifted about 4 or 5 times. I was a pretty deviant young kid. I snuck out a lot at night. I was somewhat fascinated with night time and loved the thrill of being out at night. It's like I liked being scared. I was a dare devil. I did risky things. I egged houses with friends and sprayed ketchup on houses, as silly as that sounds. But I was all about doing things that I shouldn't do, to get attention I'm sure, but also just for the thrill of doing things wrong. My mom was so much like a vegetable in that time. It was really seemed like she didn't exist almost, so my brother and I were free to run wild and do whatever we wanted to do.
I have no memory of our family ever having dinner together or me ever having a conversation with her in that time. I actually don't remember conversing with my mom my entire life until I was in high school. She just was never talkative at all. She hid in her room most of my life due to her clinical depression. She says that it began after she got her tubes tied, after I was born, and that affected her hormones. But I definitely felt neglected. So with what my dad did and being neglected by my mom, it truly is a miracle that I ended up as well as I did. I never got into drinking or drugs and I graduated from college. Praise God! I could have easily ended up in prison for something if my grandma wouldn't have intervened in my life and inspired me to follow God and be a better person. Praise God for her!
Dahmer also lived with his grandma for a long time. His dad sent him to her and was hoping that her Christian influence would get him on a better path. He actually went to church with her for a time. But it was too late for him. He had already killed his first victim by that point. He said the compulsion was already set in motion and nothing could have stopped it really. Except a deliverance. He really needed to have an exorcism done on him by someone. It is very ironic that his movie that he watched all the time was Exorcist 3 actually.
I think it's good and humble to admit that any of us could be capable of insane and crazy things. If you aren't willing to admit that, then the chances that you could do something crazy are higher I think. "Pride comes before a fall."
But also I wanted to look into Dahmer's story to hopefully understand my own dad's story and why he did what he did to me. The only thing I know about his upbringing was that he was picked on a lot by his 4 older brothers. But other than that I don't know much. I also know he was molested by an older male cousin at some point. But he had a great, absolutely wonderful mom. He was raised Catholic in the church. He was popular in school I think. I don't think he ever had a hard time making friends. He had ADHD so I think he did struggle with his grades some. He converted to Christianity after high school.
Actually, he also had a fascination with biology growing up, as Jeffery Dahmer did. He had a neighbor man that would take him on hikes and point out what different tree names were to him etc. So there is the science thing that they had in common. My dad has always been very much into science. Maybe that made both of them view people as objects more than human beings, who knows. I wonder if evolution and biology really does shape a person's perception of the world more than we realize. If my dad grew up believing in evolution then he had the same basic concept as Dahmer, that life doesn't matter or have as much value because we just evolved from lightning and random cells fusing together. hm....That is very interesting for sure.
I heard once that Hitler was also very much into evolution; that his main influence was Darwin and that was largely why he didn't seem to value human life and had thousands or millions of Jews slaughtered.
So evolutionary beliefs have led to a lot of evil for sure.
Also I wonder if there is a kind of a curse on anyone who is of German decent now because of the Holocaust. There is the O.T. verse about the sins of the fathers lasting up to 5 generations I think. I find it interesting that Dahmer was of German decent. Also, half of my family is of German decent hm....of course any curses are broken for those who are saved, but there were people in my family history who weren't saved that were German and were quite evil. My great grandpa actually raped his own daughter, my grandma, the grandma who helped me get on the right path actually. A curse is possible I suppose. Maybe my great, great, great, grandpa worked in the concentration camps. I wonder.....
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