How Many Kids to Have

When I was younger, I wanted a family with 6 children. I didn't realize how difficult pregnancy was at that time. I didn't know how painful child delivery can be. It is like a man climbing a mountain. That is probably the only thing men can do that would even come close to the pain and suffering of child labor. Granted it is only one day, but it is a very traumatic day. After my second daughter I had lots of nightmares about having to go to the hospital again for a delivery. I suppose that's why I was very against my ex-husband and I having a third kid. He wanted us to try again for a boy. I told him a few times, "There is no guarantee that it will be a boy. What if I just keep having girls?" My grandma had 5 sons. I think some people only have one gender. 

Our disagreement over having more kids or not was one thing that led to our divorce. He felt like I didn't love him anymore, because I didn't want to get pregnant again. It had nothing to do with that. I just didn't want to suffer that much again, and our two girls were plenty of stress for me. He worked 60 hours a week so most of the time I felt like a single mom, like I was raising the girls all on my own. He wasn't there to help me at bedtime, which was always hard. Getting kids to sleep is always difficult. I was thinking, "Sure having another kid is easy for you. You just have to start the process and I get to do the rest."

This is why my next book is needed. A lot of couples divorce over kids. One wants kids, the other doesn't. One wants a big family, the other wants a small family. One is worried about money in the future, the other doesn't seem to worry about money at all. One is ok with getting help from family, the other wants to be independent of any family financial help and do it on their own. One wants to travel and just have one kid, the other wants to be a home body forever and never go anywhere. 

So those are all things to think about. If you have not discussed all this with your mate, maybe this book will help you have those talks in a peaceful manner that will lead to a good compromise. First you have to figure out what you want. There is no point trying to tell your mate what you want if you don't even know yourself. 

God said, "Be fruitful and multiply." But then later Jesus said, "Go into all the world and make disciples of all nations." You can't really do both. Or can you? :)

The main issues to think about in regards to how many kids you should have are money, time, energy, other goals you have, extended family involvement, travel dreams, and how much peace or excitement do you want?