The Fatherless

Psalm 68:5 

"A father of the fatherless and a protector of widows is God in his holy habitation."

I have known so many people who are fatherless. Here is my story. I lost my dad when I was 6. He went to jail because he sexually molested me. My parents ironically stayed together, but then they divorced when I was age 10 so I lost him again. My parents had shared custody for a few years. Then my mom and I moved to CA when I was 14 so I lost my dad again. My mom married my step dad 4 years later. About 3 years ago, my step dad sexually molested my daughter. So that became my 4th time losing a father. I have not talked to him since. I have realized in the last 3 years that I really don't need a dad. It seems that dad's only hurt you. But it still makes me sad at times to think that I lost two dads, who could have been great men, but chose not to be. 

My best friend just lost her dad this year, and her mom. It was a super hard year for her. But she just got to travel to Rome so I'm sure that cheered her up a lot. When she was age 8 she kind of became an orphan. Her parents were drug addicts so she was sent to live with her aunt. Then she lived with her cousins, who took super good care of her, but still I'm sure the situation was very sad for her. She did not see either of her parents for 14 years. Then at age 22 her dad provided an apartment for her to live in. She lived there with him for about 10 years until he died. I was happy for her that she got to have that good time with her dad before he passed away. 

My current boyfriend lost his dad when he was only 19. His dad overdosed on pain meds after a back procedure and died. Maybe he was just overwhelmed with his back pain and wanted his life to be over. He had a hard life. He was a police officer and had to talk to criminals all day. I suppose anyone with that job can get very stressed out. It has been very hard for Zach to cope with his father's death the past 11 years. It caused him to get caught up in alcoholism for a long time. I think when he met me he finally decided to give up drinking. He probably realized that if I didn't get lost in drinking after all I went through, maybe he shouldn't either. 

My ex-husband was basically fatherless his entire life. He had a dad, but he was not really there. He almost never talked with his son, or his wife. He just went to work, came home, and planted himself in front of the TV for hours and hours. He didn't interact with anyone. He didn't seem to care to interact with anyone. So my ex grew up with a lot of mental pain as a result of that. I am sure that was a major factor in him losing his mind. 

Children need their dads, but so many of us were failed terribly by our dads. What do we do with that pain? Take it to God. "Cast all your cares on God for he cares for you." Accept God wanting to be your father and forget about your earthly father. That is all you can do really. You have to realize you don't need your dad. You never needed him. He was just a person. He was not God. He could not meet your needs fully. It would have been nice if he would have at least tried, but all humans are flawed. No one is perfect. None of us have relationships down perfectly. None of us live our lives perfectly. Maybe you still need to forgive your dad or step-dad for tons of things. You can do it. Just believe it is easy, and it will be. Remember all that God forgave you for, and that will help you to forgive your father. Let him go. Don't let him hurt you anymore.