My Crazy Family

 It seems that when one person in a tight knit family goes crazy, everyone else does too. My step dad was the first to go crazy. I guess he just got tired of being a grandpa. He only was a full time grandpa for 3 years, but it seems that was a bit much. My mom always made him help her with babysitting my girls. It would be about 3 days a week that they would babysit for 7 hours each day so I could work a bit. Money was always limited for us since our bills were so high. David, my step dad, should have told my mom no. He should have known that was his weakness. What happened was that he ended up proving that he was a child molester. 

Maybe that is why he went crazy and relapsed. He didn't want to disappoint my mom, but he knew he should have told her he didn't want to help her with caring for my daughters. 

After he went crazy, I went a bit crazy for like a week. I just couldn't believe he would cross the line like that. I thought he was a good man. I never thought he would be bad in any way. He came off as a total saint, but clearly he wasn't one. So I was mind blown by the whole situation. 

Then my ex husband went crazy. He didn't know what he ought to do about the situation. There were a lot of reasons why he went crazy, but that was the main reason. 

And our family died. What seemed like the perfect family and the perfect home and everything looked perfect, it all just got obliterated. We could have moved to Florida. I felt God telling me to have me, my ex, and my girls move to Florida, but I didn't know how that would go. I didn't have enough faith to do it. So I gave up on my ex instead.

 I let him and his mom keep the girls. I never planned on being a single mom. I didn't think I could handle that. I have regretted giving those three up many times, but if I had to do it all over again, I might still make the same decision. Some families just never feel quite right, no matter how hard you try. I never really felt loved by my ex, so it's good that I let him go. 

Now I hope my future will go better. I will try again at having a great family. I found a much sweeter man this time around. God willing things will go better this time.