Have Self-Control with Gossip

Titus 3:2 

"Speak evil of no one, avoid quarreling, be gentle, and show perfect courtesy toward all people."

Gossip can be more powerful than you realize. I have had many people gossip about me in my family and at work. That is one reason I hope to never have to work at a normal job again. The level of backstabbing at my last job was highly stressful. One woman who was a Satanist, tried to turn all my co-workers against me. She tried to turn my boss against me, which was the most sad thing because we were really close friends. 

It is amazing how powerful words can be. That is why the Bible says, "Life and death are in the power of your tongue." Watch out for people who like to talk too much. If they gossip to you, they will gossip about you. I like to write a lot, but in person I prefer having short conversations that are to the point. I don't carry on and talk forever. I try to not gossip. I have never tried to tear down another person's reputation. At least I don't think I have. 

If you want to keep the peace in your life and in your mind, "speak evil of no one." If you want others to speak well of you, speak well of them. "Do unto others what you would want them to do to you." 

The fastest way to kill any relationship is through gossip and lying. When you talk to other people a lot, about a person in negative ways, the relationship you have with them will probably end. Also if you don't respect that person enough to not lie to them, your relationship probably won't last.

For about a year in my former family, my ex-husband lied to me a lot so that's why I decided to separate from him. I let him have our two girls so I could distance myself from him and all the craziness so that I would not go crazy.  I can't handle being gossiped about and lying. 

The gossip was horrendous with my ex-husband's family.  Everyone talks about everybody and every tiny little thing that anyone does.  I guess that was their hobby and their entertainment. Rather than watch movies, they turned their life into a movie and my life into a movie. I try to find other things to talk about rather then critical things about every single person in my family. I vent sometimes but I feel that is different then gossip. That's so destructive and I don't get why people don't realize how damaging it can be to a family.  I guess my ex's mom's goal was to destroy our family. Very sad. 

So I have enjoyed taking a big step back from that this past 4 years.  I talk to almost no one now except my man, my brother and my best friend Ashley. That crazy family tried to rope me into their gossip mud bath, but I said no thank you to that.  I have never been much into gossiping and I never will be.  It doesn't do any good.  It only brings about harm, and you only feel like a horrible person after doing it.

Typically, women are the only ones who gossip, but men can to. Don't do it. 

Here are some good verses on the subject:

Proverbs 20:19 "Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets; therefore do not associate with a simple babbler."  

If someone tells you secrets, keep their secrets to yourself.  Don't betray them. And your words should have meaning to them.  Don't just talk just to talk.  Learn something and teach something from the words used.

Proverbs 16:28 "A dishonest man spreads strife, and a whisperer separates close friends." 

Proverbs 11:13 "Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets, but he who is trustworthy in spirit keeps a thing covered." 

Ephesians 4:29 "Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear." 

Amen. If you feel dirty after talking to someone, maybe you shouldn't talk like that anymore. I think lots of people have insecurity and depression due to the ongoing negative conversations they choose to have. Then they have anxiety that others will find out what they have been talking about. The solution is to only say words that you would later on be proud of. 

Proverbs 26:20 "For lack of wood the fire goes out, and where there is no whisperer, quarreling ceases." 

If you want to stop making people you know mad at you, stop talking badly about them. If you don't have anything good to say, then don't say anything at all. People might think for a time they like hearing all the juicy gossip about everyone they can, but in the end they will feel bad for looking down on others.

Gossip comes from pride.  You think you are better then that other person and so you feel justified to think they are horrible and cause everyone else to think they are horrible too.  But are you really that great?  I mean really?  Is anyone really all that great? No. None of us are.  So we can't ever get up on our high horse and look down on others.  No matter what their sin is, you have plenty of sins too.  "He who is without sin cast the first stone."  Don't throw stones at others and what they do or don't do unless you are perfect. That will mean you will never be able to, justifiably.

Just be a nice person.