Alone

 I just realized most of my life it felt like I lived alone. Growing up my family had dinner together but we never did fun things together. Then it was just my mom and I for a long time. She was always at work or laying down in her room. She had scoliosis so she needed to lay down often. Of course she was depressed too over loosing my dad, but he was a bad pick so it was for the best. 

Then we moved in with my step dad. We had game nights at times and those were fun. The 3 of us went out to dinner sometimes. I enjoyed that. Then my step dad told my mom it was awkward living with a beautiful lady in the house. That was me. 😣 So I got an apartment with my big brother. We made meals together and watched movies. It was super great living with him. Then I met my first serious bf and lived with him. He went to visit his kids often so I didn't see him a lot. Then he died so I lived with my mom again. It was quite awkward. I started this blog then for solace from the death and needing to live with them again. 

8 months later I met a nice guy and got married. He worked a ton so I was mostly home alone. I was raising my kids so at least I had them there. He eventually left to live with his parents. He always cared for them more then me so I totally saw that coming. I suppose I should have tried harder to win over his heart, but I expected that I had it to begin with. 

Then I met a new bf, Bryan. We worked opposite shifts so I was still alone a lot. Then I was with Eric. He was a scoundrel jerk face. We mostly kept to ourselves and did our own thing. We never should have been together, but I wanted to help him. That was why I chose to be with him. He talked about his retarded ex all the time. Eventually his anger issues became too much for me to handle so I told him to go live with family. 

Then I had an apartment by myself, which was a great adventure and very peaceful. Now I have my sweetie who I love very much. Finally I don't feel so alone. :) Hopefully things will always go well between us. Hopefully we will actually last forever.