I had the oddest dream. I was talking to a guy about what happened to him. All of a sudden a year passed. It was like I was in a comma. I was released from a hospital. I looked at my phone and only my brother and his gf texted me in that time. It was like I realized they were my only really good friends. I decided to go to Nebraska. First my two daughters showed up. Then a friend gave the 3 of us a ride to my mom's house. It was a new house, but I recognized it from the Christmas decorations. Once inside I saw she had a blonde 4 year old girl. She said, "I just wanted another kid so I adopted her." Then I was trying to find good food for my daughters to eat. They were asking me why I was gone so long, and I was trying to explain it.
I have so many dreams of my daughters and my mom and my step-dad. I miss that, being around all of them. Why did things have to go so wrong? Why did my mom marry my step-dad? You never know how many people's lives it will affect when you marry a bad person.
I suppose I am with my man now because his dad died 10 years ago. He still has dreams about his dad like I do about my daughters. We are both in a forever state of grief.
Sometimes I wonder if the dreams are real. Like my soul is talking to their souls.
I love my life now, but we all miss our past at times. It is so weird that I went through all that. It is like my daughter's died in a disaster, but they didn't. They are still alive. I feel like I can do nothing about it. 😣
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