My entire life I was very scared of my mom's temper. A few times I thought she might kill me. I suppose most kids feel that with their parents. I remember a comedian saying his dad would say, "Boy I brought you into this world and I can take you out."
I never understood why she got so mad. Now I understand it was most likely due to her not eating enough protein. She lived off of sugar. If you do that, your blood sugar is like a roller coaster. You never feel stable. It is easy to feel more emotional. You have to eat meat or cheese more often then you eat carbs and sugar.
I was hesistant to have kids because I didn't know if she would be a good grandma. She was very impatient with me, and I wasn't sure if she would be patient with my kids. She was a bit unstable with my daughters. It was a big disappointment for me. I thought she would be a good grandma, but overall, I would say she was not. She was not very kind to my oldest daughter. I never could figure out why.
She said once that my two daughters reminded her of my brother and I. I should have said, "But they are totally different children." She assumed my oldest girl would end up being slow like my big brother was. I think it's wrong to ever assume something about anyone. You never know what someone will turn out to be like.
It was this negative assumption that started a lot of family drama in my last family. I can only hope there won't be negativity like that in my second attempt at a family.
Don't ever assume you know what your kids will turn out to be like. Let them be innocent until proven guilty. The past doesn't always have to repeat itself unless you assume that it will. Then maybe it will. Hope for the best rather than assume the worst.
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