Monday, September 20, 2021

Happy Sad Dreams

 I seem to be haunted with dreams about my two daughters. Last night I dreamed about me setting up a blow up pool for them and they were running through the hose. When I had them, I got lots of blow up pools for them. It was tons of fun. I have not seen them in 2 years and I don't know what to do about it. I don't have the money for a lawyer. I now realize probably the only way to see them again is to re-unite with my ex husband. It seems like he or his parents are holding them hostage from me until I get back with him, but he was so crazy. I don't know when he will get better. At the end of our 7 year marriage he kept telling me I said things that I didn't say. So he was having auditory hallucinations. Maybe demons were literally appearing to him as me, in his sleep or in the daytime, and saying things to him as me. So then he literally thought I had said those things. It was all just too creepy for me. It was stressing me out so much that I had a very painful eyebrow twitch. I was wondering if that was going to develop into a stroke. So I knew I had to end things with him. I told him toward the end, "I give up." I didn't know how to help him. So that all is why I have not tried to reunite with him the past 2 years. But God sent me some very kind and loving boyfriend's in the past 2 years to help me heal and distract me. That has been nice. I have considered starting a new family but I still can't figure out what I want to do. Pray for me. Thanks all. 

No comments:

Post a Comment