When you tell someone you like them, you go out on a limb. And then sometimes they take a chain saw and cut that limb off and you fall on the ground. Then you walk away limping and you feel like a total idiot. This is why most people choose to not fall in love in the first place. Maybe that is why it is called falling, because you are bound to get hurt. Love is risky. It is painful. Is it worth it?
There is a part in 2 Corinthians chapter 7 where Paul says that a widow, after loosing her husband, will be happier if she remains single. There is a reason for that. Because most men are cold, heartless jerks. I don't know why any of us women waste our energy on them. They don't deserve it. Sometimes, they have the capability of loving as much as a rock is capable of love.
My ex husband is a prime example of this. We were married for 7 years. I am quite sure that he did not actually fall in love with me until our last year of marriage, and that love made him go crazy. That is why most men choose to not fall in love; they want to maintain their sanity. So they stay cool, calm and collected and unaffected by most women around them. But then that one woman gets under their skin and they can't stand it. This is why men are generally mean to a woman that they really love, because they are mad that she got to him. They are mad that she figured out how to get under his skin. Men like to keep their heart protected and hard. If a girl gets in, they resent it, because they feel like they are loosing control, and men Love to be in control.
It is also just fear, as to why men keep their hearts hard. Everyone has the fear that love might not work out, so they want to stop love before it happens. They expect the worst rather then assume the best. They think that this person who loves them will probably break their heart, so they let themselves become cold.
I have never admired those who are single too much, because it is easy to be single. There is no risk. You don't have to give anything of yourself to anyone. This is why I don't know if I could ever stay single for long, because I am so used to giving of myself to others. It is nice and peaceful to be single, but it seems selfish. So I have always looked for someone to help and someone to love.
In relationships, Satan might cause us to think, "They will just leave me anyways," but then we cause them to leave by our actions. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. You assume the worst is going to happen, that someone will reject you, but then you Cause them to reject you due to your actions. It is like when Job said in the Bible, "The thing that I feared the most has happened to me." We greatly fear that someone will leave, but then we cause them to leave. It is like we want to force them to leave before they do so on their own, so that we feel like we are in power. If they leave you, you are the looser. But if you cause them to leave you, then you are the winner. At least that is what Satan tells you. If someone rejects you of their own will, then you feel like a looser. But if they reject you because you "want" them to, then you feel like the winner. It is the game of "I will reject you before you can reject me." It is very immature but people do it all the time when they are in love. Then they are the one in power. They are the one left holding the cards because they made the other person fold.
But then later on, they are sad they made the other person fold. They are sad they made the other person give up, and that they drove them away. They want them back because then they get lonely. Then they wonder why they are the way they are? Why do they drive people away? Perhaps it is the fear of getting close to others, of being fully known. Perhaps they prefer to hide and that is why they keep driving people away. They have always been hurt by people. They assume everyone will hurt them or leave them, so they drive people away before they can hurt them. They like to maintain a tough exterior and persona so that no one can get in and hurt them. They act like they have it all together, when really they are very scared on the inside. The men who act the most macho, are actually the most insecure on the inside, but they mask their feeling small with bravado.
Women can do this too. Women can come off as tough and have an attitude that they don't need anyone. They do this to protect themselves from getting hurt. But as Joyce Meyer says, "When you wall everyone else out, you wall yourself in." We put up walls when people hurt us and we want to hide away from everyone. But if you do that, Satan wins. Just because one person hurt you, doesn't mean everyone will hurt you. And just because a certain person hurt you once, doesn't mean they will always hurt you. Our battle is against Satan, not people. Any time someone hurts you, get mad at Satan, not at the person who hurt you. And don't let Satan win. Don't let Satan make you hide in a shell all alone forever. Be yourself. Be brave. And keep loving people, even when people hurt you. Love is risky. Love Is painful. But yes, love is worth it.
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