The day that I regret more then any other day of my life was when I gave my youngest daughter, Joy, to my ex mother in law. She already had my oldest daughter, Serenity, because she was staying with her for a couple weeks. Then my ex husband went to live there, because I didn't feel safe living with him anymore. A month later I took Joy out there, 6 hours away, to Odessa. My goal that day was actually to get Serenity back, but instead I gave them Joy. I wanted my girls to be together, but God had told me a month before that, "No matter what you do, don't give them Joy." I seriously regret giving them Joy. I just asked God why he said that. He said because I would have been much happier this past two years if I hadn't given her up.
A month after I gave up Joy I met my ex, Brian. He rented a room from me in my house. He had a 3 year old son, so his son essentially replaced Joy for me, which was nice. His son was just as cute and smart as Joy was. Brian and I kept trying to have a kid together, but he was infertile, so that kind of led to us breaking up. I also ended things with him because he was very vernally abusive toward his son, and that stressed me out a lot.
I have now been with Eric for the past 11 months. We met on Bumble. Now I am trying to decide if it is better to be with my daughters and my ex husband again, or to stay with Eric. Overall I think God wants me to stay with Eric, because he is nicer.
May God bless you and give you all wisdom in the big decisions you have to make. God bless. :)
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