Typically, women stay in abusive relationships because they love money more then they value their own safety. Often the only reason a woman will put up with abuse is because the man they are with has money. If the guy did not have money, then why would they endure the abuse? Also, the man who has money thinks he can get away with abusing his woman because he has all the money. He thinks he can exploit her because she is dependent on him. This can be the case with a job too. If your employer thinks you have no where else you can work, they might abuse you and exploit you. If your man thinks you have no where else to live but with him, he might exploit you and abuse you. This is why having options is good. Most women who feel stuck in abusive relationships have no where else to go. They don't think they can live with their parents, for whatever reason. Maybe they don't want to live with their parents or live alone because they think they would miss sex too much. I would like to point out that you don't need sex like you need food, water and air. You might think you do, but you don't. It is possible to live without sex. :)
Women stay with abusive men because they like whatever money he is willing to give them. They don't want to work harder for their own money, so they put up with the abuse so they can get money from their mate. But is it really worth it? Is whatever he can buy you really worth the abuse? No. It is not. Why not make your own money and be free and happy? Why endure the slavery if you can be free?
But so many women feel helpless. Let me tell you, you are not helpless. You can go other places and do other things with your life. So many women don't believe in themselves. We show others how they can treat us by what we allow. If you think lowly of yourself, you will let others treat you badly. If you think that is the treatment you deserve, then that is what you will allow.
Women stay with absusive men for money, sex or maybe you think he is the most attractive man you can get. So you are fixated on and obsessed with his outer beauty, but what about his heart? Isn't a person's heart more important than their outer beauty? Our culture teaches us to focus on outer beauty. The magazines, movies, commercials, everything we see on TV teaches us that outer beauty is what we should look for in a mate, but is it? Have you not noticed that an attractive person with a horrible personality is then not attractive anymore? You can be the most beautiful person in the world, but if you are mean, you are not beautiful anymore.
Personally, I have always gone for average looking guys because I care more that a man has a beautiful heart. I have tried to focus on that with myself too, my inner beauty more then my outer beauty. I do not see the point in looking like a beauty queen if it puffs me up and makes my heart ugly. Generally, highly attractive people have a lot of pride and they are very difficult and mean people. I think it is because they have been spoiled their whole lives. Spoiled with getting easy sex from others, from getting money easily by conning people, spoiled by not having to work as hard as others because they are attractive. I have seen this so many times, that people who are more attractive think they can just skate through life and everyone else will take care of them because they are so beautiful. They exploit everyone around them and somehow get whatever they want because they are beautiful. Then they grow up like a never ending spoiled child. If they don't get what they want, they are just like a 2 year old throwing a temper tantrum and everyone around them thinks, "What on earth is wrong with them? Why don't they grow up?" But they never had to grow up, because they are so cute and they have been spoiled by so many different people.
Typically abusive men are very charming, or they are charming when they need to be. They know how to talk their way out of any situation. They might cheat on you, but they are experts at talking their way out of trouble. They know what to say to make you not mad at them anymore. They are expert con artists, smooth talkers; they have a way with words. So you stay with them, even though you know their heart is just terrible and they don't care about anyone but themselves. Why do you stay? Because they know how to be charming when they need to be. This was a pattern they most likely developed with their mom as a kid. They got in trouble but they were so smart and so cute which made them able to talk themselves out of getting in trouble. And then this pattern continues at their jobs, in their relationships etc. The more they get away with, the more they think they can get away with. The more times that people let them slide on things, the more spoiled they get and the more ugly their heart gets, because they never learn any lessons.
All abusive men also have a superiority complex. They think they are better then every single other person alive. They all think they look like Brad Pitt, even if they really don't. They think they are the smartest people alive. They think they are the hardest workers, the best drivers, the best at sex, even if they are not. No one can give them advice about anything because they think they are the Best. They won't listen to anyone because why would they? They know everything, right? And so their character gets worse and worse because they won't let anyone help them. They think that everyone else has a problem, but they don't. They can do no wrong. They never say sorry because they don't think they did anything wrong. And if they did do something wrong, it was your fault. They cheated because you aren't pretty enough. They don't give you more money because you aren't as pretty as you could be. In which case, why are you even with them? If they don't really like you, why stay with them? Do you not belive that some guy out there will think you are drop dead gorgeous just the way you are?
It is time to get out. If you are stuck with an abusive person, set yourself free. You can do it. I believe in you. You deserve a better life. :)
No comments:
Post a Comment