Most people have no idea what they want in regards to making babies. Probably over half of us exist because of an, "Oops. I came inside you." "What the heck." "Sorry." "You better be ready to be a daddy."
No matter who you are with or who you love, it is a hard decision to make. It really is a way of gambling on the future, because you have no idea what will happen. It takes faith to have a baby, a lot of faith. You never know if things will work out with someone. It is always a risk. For sure it makes sense to have cold feet after having children with someone and that not working out. Then it is easy to think, "Why try again? What if my attempt at a family doesn't work out again?"
But all things in life are like that. Why try to have friends when it might only be temporary? Because you got the joy of having that friendship for a time. Why try any job when you could be fired at any time? Because you enjoyed having that job for awhile. Why make children with someone when you might not get to see them much in the future? Because you enjoyed having those children around for as long as you did. Any parenting is temporary anyways. It should only last for 18 years. At least it is supposed to.
My kid story is sad. I never wanted to be a single mom, so that's why I let my ex husband and his parents have our daughters. My greatest fear my whole life was becoming a single mom. My mom was a single mom for about 7 years and I could tell she was miserable the whole time. She had to carry the weight of providing for me and my brother and herself for so long. She was so strong though, to do that. I always admired her for that. She has told me that I could do the same with my daughters. I guess I just don't have faith that it could work out, that I would have enough money. "According to your faith it will be done to you." Some have the faith to do that, and others don't.
Having kids to care for in our modern world is so hard. I suppose it has always been hard, but the expense of everything now is so high. And the world is so evil now. It is hard to keep kids safe all the time.
I remember I was at a conference at a church one Saturday. It was on evil spirits and they were trying to set people free of evil spirits. The spirit of fear was the next one. A guy got up and said, "Someone here has a fear that something bad might happen to their children." At the time I was 7 months pregnant with my first daughter. I started crying a lot. I knew he was talking about me. A lady came and prayed with me and I felt more peace about my fears.
When you have children, you never know what will happen. But if you worry excessively about anything, you will never really live life. Your fear will paralyze you. You could be agoraphobic and never leave your house, but then you don't really live life. You could have a fear of driving a car, but then you would never feel the joy of driving. You could have a fear of becoming a parent, but then you would never feel the joy of being a parent.
Not all things in life last forever, but at least you can experience something for a time. It is better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all. Just because a thing might end, that does not mean you should not try it.
So many people prefer to play it safe, so they never fall in love, never have kids, they never do anything. It seems that most of life is either risky and fun, or safe and boring. Both sides can be appealing. Having peace and quiet is nice, but boring. Having fun can be scary, but that is what makes it fun.
May God give you wisdom in all your decisions. God bless!
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