The biggest problem in the world is selfishness. Every relationship I have had that ended, it was because of selfishness. I wanted too much or they wanted too much. Our wants can get us in trouble and really screw us over.
The solution is to not want anything, other then some food and water and time to sleep every day. Beyond that, try to not want anything from anyone. If you can do that, you will be able to love others better, and you will never get mad.
The reason we get mad is because we expect too much from others. When they don't do what we want, we try to control them with our anger. We try to force them to do what we want by throwing a little temper tantrum, just like an annoying 3 year old that wants candy.
Did you know that wanting to control others is witchcraft? "Where the Spirit of the Lord is there is freedom." If you really love someone, you will let them do what they want to do. You won't try to control them in any way.
You can't force someone to love you more. Love can only grow in freedom.
If you expect too much from others, the problem is that you have not learned how to go without. Maybe your parents spoiled you and gave you whatever you wanted. Paul said, "I have LEARNED the secret of being content in any and every situation." You can learn how to always be content, whether you get everything you want and when you don't.
In college I was in a great books program. We read a lot of books by Catholic monks from the last 2,000 years. I very much admired their ascetic and simple lifestyle. They had very low expectations about life and others. Their main focus was just God 24/7. They were happy to just eat bread and have a tiny room and a book to read or paper to write on. Now we expect to have it all. If we don't have our phone, laptop, smart TV and gourmet meals 3 times a day we are miserable. We are so spoiled now. Our expectations have become way too high.
Lower your expectations. The world does not revolve around you. If you ever wonder why a person doesn't think of you, it's because most people simply don't. Most people are just thinking about themselves 24/7. You can't expect everyone to cater to your every need. I have been with guys that were like this. I like to refer to them as princes. They Thought they were a prince anyway. You are not royalty. You are just a normal person. Expect to be treated as such.
God says, "Get over yourself. You are special, but you are not as special as you think you are. The world does not revolve around you. It revolves around me. I created you to serve me. I am not here to serve you. Serving me should always be your primary goal. You do not just live for yourself. Get over yourself. You aren't a god or a goddess. Accept it. You can't expect anyone to think you are awesome without doing anything. You should know better then that. Don't assume you deserve praise without doing great things. You are worth a lot to me, but you have to prove yourself. You don't get credit for anything unless you put a lot of effort into it, like Lisa puts into her blogs. Good job Lisa. :) Strive for excellence. What is the point of life if you don't do things excellently? If you do things well, then maybe, maybe you will deserve to be seen as great. Until then, stop thinking of yourself more highly then is appropriate. You are just a human being. You aren't a god."
Here are good verses about selfishness:
1 Corinthians 10:24
Let no one seek his own good, but the good of his neighbor.
1 Timothy 6:10
The love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs.
Acts 20:35
Help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he himself said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’
Philippians 2:3-4
Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.
2 Timothy 3:2
In the last days people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful and unholy.
1 Timothy 6:17-19
As for the rich in this present age, charge them not to be haughty, nor to set their hopes on the uncertainty of riches, but on God, who richly provides us with everything to enjoy. They are to do good, to be rich in good works, to be generous and ready to share, thus storing up treasure for themselves as a good foundation for the future, so that they may take hold of that which is truly life.
Luke 21:1-4
Jesus looked up and saw the rich putting their gifts into the offering box, and he saw a poor widow put in two small copper coins. And he said, “Truly, I tell you, this poor widow has put in more than all of them. For they all contributed out of their abundance, but she out of her poverty put in all she had to live on.”
Romans 12:3
For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned.
1 John 3:17
If anyone has the world's goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God's love abide in him?
Matthew 7:13-14
“Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few.
Matthew 6:19-21
“Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
James 3:16
For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice.
Proverbs 28:27
Whoever gives to the poor will never be in need, but he who hides his eyes from the poor will get many curses.
1 Corinthians 13:4-5
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way.
James 4:1-2
What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask.
Ask God for what you want, and believe he will give it to you. Then you won't have to fight with others for things. Just ask God for whatever you want, live in such a way that he would want to give it to you, and he will. Only believe.
God bless!
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