Stand Up for Yourself

 Relationships are so hard. Life is so hard. It's always hard to know the best path to take. Your head says one thing and your heart says another thing. Cognitive dissonance is one word for it. 

I have felt so conflicted about so many things in my life. When an ex was in jail I still loved him so much, but I knew it was time to let him go. I couldn't, but finally I did. Every time I ended things with my current bf I wasn't sure if it was the right thing to do. I felt bad for him like I was kicking a baby bird out of the nest, but I was tired of feeling like his mommy. I felt like my ex husband's mommy too and that got old. 

I think part of me just wants to be single forever. I have dealt with so many annoying situations with guys. It's much easier to be single, but then you get lonely. I have always said, "Married people are always angry and single people are always lonely." Have you noticed that? Maybe you read my blog because you are single and lonely. :) I used to watch Joyce Meyer on YouTube when I felt lonely. Or I've always loved Steven Furtick. Now mainly I like Jentezen Franklin and Rick Warren. I had forgotten what an amazing teacher Rick Warren is. No wonder God prospered him and helped sell the best selling book ever, The Purpose Driven Life. Good job Pastor Rick!

The main argument last night with my bf was he was saying Jesus was just some guy who started his own religion and he was just a traitor to the Jews. I was amazed that after a year of me being around him he still thought all that about Jesus. I said, "No that's just what you were brain washed to believe about him." He said I was crazy. :(

When I was with my ex husband we always had religious differences also, because I was Baptist and he was Pentecostal. Those are polar opposites in Christianity. He always thought he was better then me because he prayed in tongues. Now my current bf thinks he is better then me because he's Jewish. It seems that guys with a big ego cross my path a lot, or maybe just most guys have a big ego now. 

I feel like God says he brings them to me because he knows I like guys who are confident. Yes that is very true. But they can be confident and not cross that line to being an arrogant asshole. 

People always think they have some reason to think they are better then others; race, religion, money, looks, skills. I love how Rich Warren says, "You are not better then anyone else, and no one else is better then you." I like it, but that is a very simple way of thinking. Of course people are better then us in certain thing, but we don't have to let it bother us. So what if they think they are better then you, you don't have to agree with them. Don't let them put you down. No one deserves to be put down and made to feel less than. 

I was writing a lot about my bf when we were broken up one time. I was realizing that abuse in any relationship starts with verbal abuse. The issue is a lack of respect. The more you allow the verbal abuse, the less they will respect you and the worse it will get. You treat people how to treat you. You have to respect yourself first in order for others to respect you. 

At work if you fail to show respect, you get a "write up." The reason relationships get so toxic sometimes is because there isn't a system like this. The more you love them, the more they think they can get away with. They think that you will love them no matter what. They take advantage of how much you care about them. They begin to think they can get away with anything. 

When you think you could never loose a relationship, that is when you loose it, because you stop being careful. You stop being respectful. You take the fact that they are with you for granted. You forget that they Don't Have to be with you. No matter what their situation in life or how much money they have, no one has to be with anyone. We all have choices. We all can do whatever we want. You don't have to be with anyone. If you don't like your situation, change it. Make it happen. 

You treat people how to treat you. 

If you are around someone who doesn't treat you right, stand up for yourself. You don't have to take it. Tell them it's not ok. Don't just let the behavior continue. If you don't say anything, the monster of abuse will grow and it will just get worse and worse. You are no one's slave. You are royalty, if you are saved. You are a child of God. Never forget that. People should treat you accordingly. They don't have to spoil you, but they do need to respect you. 

Don't let people be mean to you. Of course, some people take abuse because they think they deserve it. Maybe you remember times where you were mean to them. But if they can't forgive you and they always want revenge, maybe you guys should take a break. If they can't ever forgive you, then there is no reason to get back together. 

God said, "Husbands do not be harsh with your wives so that your prayers will not be hindered." Men, that is important. The curse for the woman was, "Your desire shall be for your husband But he shall Rule over you." Any woman who has been with a man knows what that is like. That has been mostly easy for me because I had an older brother, so I was always used to a male person ruling over me. My older brother has a very strong personality too so I definitely felt ruled. :) 

But men, in ruling your wife, as you are supposed to, don't be overly harsh with her. You can be a leader without being a jerk. I heard once, "If you don't have control, you become controlling." If you don't have control it is probably because you lost respect by being controlling. You can't force respect, you have to earn it. If you respect others, you will get respect. 

If you love others, you will get love. 

May God help you all in your relationships. If you don't know if you should stay with someone or not may God give you wisdom in that. We all need people, but don't let that need keep you in a bad situation. Don't be anyone's slave. God wants to "set the captives free!" God loves you!