Give People Freedom

 Watch out for co-dependency. The issue with being co-dependent is that you don't give people freedom. One of my favorite verses is, "Where the spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom." I know I very much appreciate freedom. What you want others to do to you, do to them. If you give those you know freedom, they will in turn give you freedom. Isn't that beautiful? 

In any situation where addiction is an issue, there will always be someone who tries to control the addict. That generally only makes them worse. Then they want to continue to do anything they want to do just to show that they are free. They want to show you and themselves that they are free. I know when I was growing up, the more my mom tried to control me, the more I wanted to go against everything she said. She would try to ground me. I would just sneak out at night. I wanted to do anything she didn't want me to do. It was an ongoing power struggle between her and I. 

No one wants to feel stuck or controlled by someone else. I think that could be a main cause of addiction. The person wants to feel free to choose to be an addict. Of course then they aren't free, because they become a slave to whatever substance they choose. But they may think, at least they are free from the control of domineering people. At least they don't feel the need to conform anymore. They are an autonomous person. They are as free as a wild stallion. 

So what is the solution? Let people be free and eventually they will figure out on their own what is right and what is not right. Eventually they will see what they need to see. They will see the truth and "the truth shall set them free." If they never see it, don't worry too much about it. If they want to mess up their body, that is their body to mess up. They will have to face the consequences someday, not you. 

This can be hard in marriage to turn a blind eye to what your mate does that hurts them. The two become one flesh right? But you aren't actually one person. You are still two individual people. You should feel free to do what you want and they should too. "It is God's kindness that leads us to repentence." If you want them to act correctly, let God's love lead them there. You cannot force them to be good. Only God can gently guide them to be more good.