The main person I have anger at currently is my step-dad. I keep wondering the extent to which he sexually molested my oldest daughter 3 years ago. She was 5 years old at that time. It really pissed me off to find out about that. How do I know he was doing inappropriate things? One day, after I came home from work, he rubbed his face on her but. He looked me right in the eyes, bent over the couch and did it. Her legs were up in the air and she was laying on her back. It shocked me. It looked very sexual.
Ever since my two daughters were little, he would blow on their tummy. I thought it was cute, but it could have been him conditioning them. My mom didn't like it. She tried telling him to not do it a few times, but he totally just ignored her. I felt like that showed he had no respect for her, if he didn't care that it bothered her.
One day my ex and I left our apartment to go out on a dinner date. My step-dad was taking my oldest daughter on a walk, just the two of them. My ex and I talked about if we felt we could really trust him. We both knew the story from his ex-wife. She divorced him because she said he did several crazy, horrible things to their son when he was 3. He told us all that it was a lie she made up to have a reason to divorce him since she was Catholic. We all didn't know if he was lying about that or not. For 18 years I didn't know if he was lying about that or not.
I was just laying in bed praying about this last night, asking God why things like this happen. Why does God let adults become attracted to children? If anything could ever make me go crazy, it would be that. I dealt with sexual molestation as a child. Then my daughter possibly had to deal with it. My brother had to. My dad took a shower with him when he was 14. So crazy. Why do things like that happen?
God said that it is because the woman they are with stops having sex with them. I said to God, "Then why don't they just watch porn?" But he said, "That only makes them more sexually charged." All men need sex. No matter their age. It is wired into their DNA. God told mankind to be fruitful and multiply, and men took that command very seriously. The issue is when they think kids are a good next target. Maybe they are simply tired of having sex with women their age. Maybe they find it too hard to cause a woman to desire having sex with them. Or they just want a new thrill. But they don't care about hurting the child? They don't care about hurting the entire family? They just want what they want, because they are selfish. They are narcissists who think they are entitled to anything they want to get. Maybe they were sexually molested as a child, and they are in denial over how angry that made them. They haven't dealt with their own issues. Rather than heal themselves, they hurt someone else.
Bullies are like this of course. They never healed from their own pain. Instead, they hurt everyone around them, thinking that will make them feel better. Maybe it does a little bit. They feel more powerful, more on top of the world. They like people to be afraid of them. Eventually though, they will regret it. They will realize how selfish and mean they were. They will want to make amends, but then it might be too late. Those people might be gone.
Be careful of how you interact with children. They are like glass or delicate flowers. Anything you do to them, they will remember forever, and it will greatly affect them. Treat them with respect and never touch them inappropriately. You wouldn't want someone to do that to you if you were a child. So don't do it to them.
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