Monday, February 6, 2023

Why Cheating Occurs

 My ex-husband almost non-stop accused me of cheating our entire last year of marriage. A few people told me that was probably because HE was cheating. He admitted to me before I kicked him out that he was watching porn our entire marriage. I was super pissed off about that. Mainly because he lied every time I asked him if he was watching it. I was just asking God if there were also women he was messaging. God told me yes he sometimes talked to his ex named Candy. I'm sure it was because she wouldn't let him go, but still he should not have talked to her. 

How do people do things like that and think it's ok? That is emotional cheating. Now I get why he kept assuming I had a guy on the side, because he had a girl on the side. 

But to be fair, maybe he felt he "needed" to talk to her because I didn't talk to him very much. I never called him or texted him when he was at work, even though he asked me to. I always just said I didn't want to distract him. I have no idea why I never wanted to call him except that maybe I was never really in love with him. 

I wonder how many other couples have kids together and have been married for 7 or more years and neither of them feels love anymore. Was I in love at the beginning? Maybe somewhat infatuated, but that was it. He was too mean for me to really love him. He thought the world revolved around him. I always called him "Prince Ben" because it seemed he felt like he was a prince. 

If you aren't actually in love with who you are with, I feel your pain. It is good to stick it out for the kids. If you abandon the marriage, you may regret it. Shared custody is a pain. If one parent has to say bye to the kids, that is the saddest thing possible in life. That is what I felt I had to do in order to have a better life for myself. 

Just don't ever be with someone that you don't really love. Find a person you can love with all your heart, like how much I love my current man. That makes life a lot happier and worth living a lot more. 

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